Tails from The Treadmill of Life

Weathers been that bad even Ive succumbed to the indoor treadmill after two weeks running on snow & ice I needed to get the feel of flat clean ground under my feet the problem with run on compacted snow is the bumps jar the joints and tendons thats why I picked up slight abductor strain.
 Its in one those embarrasing places that you dont wanna let the Physo' get there hands on except of course if shes attractive ,Ive known runners  invent injuries just to go along to check out a nice looking phsyo in the area but mine should be ok knowing my powers of recovery &' Kellys eye 'immortal  healing properties .

Dont mind the snow but wouldnt wanna have to train on it 6/7 days a week like those poor  sods who are still competitive athletes I can please myself when to go out .

All the slow running get to yous and its good to have burn up occasionaly I did 30 mins at bout 80% effort including some show boating altho the gym was empty thanks to the fair weather trainers I half expected the gym to be closed Im sure it was durng last yrs Artic blast .

The  Gym scales are fecked they dont seem to give the same reading twice ? either that or they are on an uneven surface still 11st 5lbs ?? but think Im get used ter running under this weight .


I see M60 'Mike Hagger ' is still running a one man assualt force on many masters titles & age world records supposed to be 60 but looks like feck 70 hope I dont look like that at his feck age !!.

Mike Haggered '

Wed 22nd Dec

Gym jog treadmill 1x 20 mins 1x 10 mins dont ask me wat pace but it was just enough to feel the burn some geezer a non runner on treadmill next to me  with the feet of an elephant you could feel the vibrations across the other side of the gym no wonder the machines are bust !!.

The Thought of Drinking this xmas is enough to turn my liver inside out esp' as Ive just started kicking myself into shape so I be sticking to wine this year and not stuffing my face ahead of the traditional xmas run .

Footnote

Bumped into an old drinking pal few weeks ago I was shocked to find hed had a 'Heart by pass ' hes same age as me 52 ' like me he used to be very fit when he was younger  and was verygood footballer at one time courted by few Lge clubs .

He reckoned it was the drink & fags thank feck I had my running to keep me on the right rd otherwise I may have ended up like him too !! we used to call him 'George Pissed ' as he was the 'George Best 'of the non Lge when ever we had a match we had to hunt him down & drag him out of the pub but even when he was half cut he was still good enough to run rings round the oppo ' .
I remeber one night under the influance of alchol  he agreed to play for three different pub teams the following day but never turned up for any, one pub team found out where he lived and wouldnt go away until he answered the door eventually he persuaded his poor  mom to make up story hed broke his leg but it meant he had to steer clear of all the local pubs for months !!.

In case of Rescue cut here

90mins in the snow in my memory heavist snow fall since the 80s back then it was -12 & up to my knees in places esp in the country lanes ,bt that was then this is now !!

Have to admit even for me it was bloody hard going the faster runners tend to run on the frontfoot but in these conditions you have to run kinda flat footed which is  both uncomfortable & tireing and saps the energy especially in the tops of the legs .

After 90mins I had enough & turned back for home dont know if its because Im older or turning into a whimp but when was younger seemed to cope better with the conditions mind you back then I had four wheel drive .
Running across the local heath discovered it was a mistake to wear a yellow flourescent t-shirt after noticed some people were waving at me from a distance but realised they werent just being friendly they were in need of rescue prob' been there all night trapped in thier cars ,must thought I was the fecking RAC or the mountian rescue or something serves em right for not listening to advice and leaving their cars at home !! .

Id only agreed to wear the yellow top after my Mrs nagged me to, as in case of emergency like if Id broke my leg , and laying in the snow for hours the yellow would make my body stand out in the snow for any passing helicopter to swoop down and pick me up ,they think of  everything women dont they .

After few miles on the canal Id had enough of struggling in white stuff and came off at Bournville , loads sad bsterds at the railway station waiting for the shoppers special into city center makes you wonder wat would happen if the whole transport network broke down and everyone was forced to walk it would do lot to tackle the obese problem .

It was no better on the Rds too dangerous to run in the kerb cars were sliding all over and compacted snow on pavements made it hard to get into any rythm on the uneven surface thats prob' why I never was any good over the X country but just had to grin and bare it .

Take in local beauty spot 'Cannon Hill park ' met with new hazard people walk thier dogs esp' the packs of them ,the dogs seem'd to think just like thier feck owners that us runners are part of the winter wonderland and to be played with for their entertainment . Ok I can take a joke just like the next bloke but after few hundred yards the joke wears little thin but found a polite 'FUCK OFF ' in the diirection of the owners worked a treat for them to call the wolves off !!.

Then there was the photographers dozs of them all lined up around the lake turning it into a feck 'ski sunday ' salom course had to weave in out of them I just realised why the bloody gritters havent cleared the roads its something to do with the local 'Historical societies ' wanting to take pics for future generations in 50 yrs time to show them how hard we had it in proper snowfall 

Running back thro ' the 'River Rea ' cycle route passed few hardy joggers including one geezer wearing pair of knee length shorts but Im afraid he doesnt make it into my 'skool for hard knocks ' as the whimp was wearing a hooded fleeced top that dont count in my book . 

Looks like the white stuff is going to be around for weeks so Im serously concidering wearing a pair of run spikes next time out but think if I had a choice between running on ice or snow Id chose the more dangerous ice everytime .

FOOTNOTE

Been doing my bit to help my elderly neighbours in the snow one side I  got 'Charlie ' hes quite friendly  for Scotsman @t 76 & on sticks he does ok, like most Glaswegians hes seems to have mastered the art of foul language esp' the word 'cunt !! which to him seems to be term of affection especially when talk to me .
Ive always found that Feck, @rse ,Cunt & bsterd sounds much better cuming from a Scotsman as in " you see that cunt over there " meaning a bloke whos Dog keeps shiteing on his front garden or " will you go and get me the papers you cunt !" . I dont mind esp' in the snow he usualy has the 'Scottish post ' but this morning I got him an 'English paper ' he wasnt too happy so ungrateful , thats the trouble with some these 'Scits ' they got no SOH !!.